Labor Day palate cleanser: Combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut

The whole crime data mapping thing is interesting, but honestly, a waste of money. Yum! Brands figured all this shit out years ago. Basically, if you want to know where things are bad in a neighborhood, just look for a combination KFC/Pizza Hut/Taco Bell/WingStreet[wtf?]/Long John Silver’s and there you go, you’re in the ghetto.

Case in point, that combo Taco Bell/KFC in the Bayview with the bulletproof glass on the drivethru. Or, better yet, our own combo KFC/Taco Bell at the corner of Polk & Eddy under the EINE mural. For anyone screaming about gentrification from Twitter and Brenda’s, I want to toss down that card on the table and say, STFU. Major props to Google Maps for hiding the Colonel’s face by the way.

Anyways, enjoy “Combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut” by Das Racist to sober you up and get the Playa out of your ears after your Labor Day/Burning Man hedonism.

Friday evening palate cleanser: What were we waiting for?

See how many Tenderloin locations you can spot in this video by the LA-based band Leaving Richmond (Facebook).

Machaira performs at UN Plaza

Machaira, a Christian music outreach program, plays to Tenderloin locals today at the fountain (aka Fecal Fountain) in United Nations Plaza. Jamming, dancing and pamphleting ensued.

Friday evening palate cleanser: Spot the TL street art

TGIF, so it’s time for some music!

The first video is by Oakland-based hip hop band Foreign Legion, so it makes sense that the work of several Bay Area street artists make an appearance. Can you spot the Tenderloin one?

Ninjasonik is also a hip hop, but based in Brooklyn. So we were even more excited to spot some Tenderloin street artists in this video. Enjoy!

Sunday evening palate cleanser: Ferocious Few

Missionite band The Ferocious Few projected themselves onto various SF landmarks for their latest music video, Loc’d Out. Including several buildings in the Civic Center, namely City Hall (where security guards chased them away), the War Memorial Veterans Building and even onto the now gone Three Heads Six arms Buddha statue. Enjoy.

[Via Mission Mission]

Best Jukebox in the Tenderloin?

The All Shook Down blog over at SF Weekly has an article today about the Best Jukebox in the Tenderloin and their ‘winner’ turns out to be the one at the Hemlock Tavern. Their two runner-ups are the Geary Club at 768 Geary, which is described as “precisely what an outsider might imagine of a typical Tenderloin bar. It’s dim, smoky, and a tad ominous” and 21 Club at the corner of Turk and Taylor, described as “the diviest of dives” respectively. They are both quintessential Tenderloin bars (although for some reason the author of the article thinks the 21 Club borders Civic Center, wtf?), unpretentious, old-fashioned and with a clientele full of rough edges and zero vintage irony. That’s why we’re not surprised that their top pick was the Hemlock Tavern, not only because it’s free but because as they put it “compliments the usual Hemlock Tavern crowd: young, hipsterish, party-inclined”.

Jonathan Hirsch of The Tenderloin Reading Series, who is a fan of the Geary Club’s jukebox (pictured here) tells us that the jukebox at Hemlock is not at all handpicked, “you can buy one of those things out of a skymall catalogue” and that the editors at SF Weekly probably love Hemlock because it’s the kind of place they would want the Tenderloin to be, not what it actually is. Jonathan adds that if the Kum Bak Club still existed he would also add their jukebox to the list of his favorites. Unfortunately, some of the better jukeboxes in the area have gone digital (Whiskey Thieves, Edinburgh Castle), so it’s hard to find any original jukes remaining.

As a side note, thanks to the article we learned that the very first jukebox ever was installed in San Francisco 121 years ago, at the Palais Royale Saloon. Of course, it became an overnight sensation and spread around the world, although back then it was called the “nickel-in-the-slot player”. It was only around the 1940s that it came to be known as the jukebox, apparently derived from the familiar usage “juke joint”, a slang reference to bawdy house, where music was not unknown. Very similar to how I just refer to my bathroom as “neighbor’s pot den” nowadays.

Planet of the animals

Do you remember that awesome band we met back in October named Cambo & The Life? A couple of days ago we got word that they just released a new music video, “Planet of the animals”, which gives a little taste of the TL:

As soon as we saw it we wanted to find out more about it, so we contacted the people behind it: Finktoons. It turns out Finktoons is a sketch comedy troupe who does live action and animated skits (who knew). It was co-founded by Brandon Fink, who directed and animated this video for friends Cambo & The Life. Brandon says it’s supposed to be set in the Tenderloin, although it is a pretty loose interpretation of it. It takes place on Turk and Leavenworth, nearby where Cambo’s studio is located and the bulk of their music is created.

I didn’t really illustrate it based on any specific landmarks or actual sites in the neighborhood. The primary inspiration for the video came from the song itself, it’s a pretty rad hip-hop song, and I wanted to make a video that kind of kept that flavor, but at the same time did a good job of poking fun at what are usually inherent values in that particular type of music-the gold chains, the bitches, the money, fancy cars, looking smooth etc. So I opted to try to convey what I viewed as the opposite of that: making the rap-superstar a big green down-syndrome monster with warts and a tiny little penis (sorry Cambo), stripping down the baller surroundings and putting him in some janky situations surrounded by crackheads and hookers and thieves, and just trying to make the whole thing pretty goofy and light hearted.

Thinking that maybe we got offended by the depiction of the neighborhood in the video (we didn’t), Brandon wants to clarify that he was not trying to knock the TL in any way in this video. And he adds, “it is a very colorful and culturally rich environment, but you can’t deny the fact that there’s a pretty hefty amount of crackheads and hookers and thieves running around. And that can sometimes be funny”. Indeed.

Just don’t call your first album, “Tender Strong”

If you have a band (the “boy” type doesn’t count), a bunch of songs to cram down the world’s throat, a Facebook account, a lot of friends but not much cash, you’re in luck! Studio C in the historic Hyde Street Studios is having a big sale in February as illustrated by this video that was probably produced by the same technical masterminds as Necessary Conversation.

Basically, for the month of February, studio days are 10% off, but for every 200 people who “like” their Facebook page, they’ll take an additional 5% off their studio day rate all the way up to 40%. Now it’s your opportunity to become famous or perhaps just find an avenue to getting more ass than playing your guitar at Hallidie Plaza will get you.

(Oh, and don’t think we’re getting paid for this posting. Musicians have less money than bloggers. We just wanted to mention it to promote the studio space again as we love seeing more bands pop out around here. Oh, and while you’re “liking” their Facebook page, go and like ours too. Every time you don’t a swan dies…)

Tenderblog Today: history, music & literature

  • Panel discussion at SOMArts from 2-4pm as part of Julie Michelle’s “I live here: SF” photo exhibit that runs until the 30th (if you haven’t seen it yet, hurry up!). Of course, she’ll be there as well as Rick Prelinger, film archivist and creator of the “Lost Landscapes of San Francisco”, which is currently playing in the video gallery, will speak about his work. Also scheduled to present are Mark Bittner, the subject of the documentary “The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill”, blogger/cyclist/fashion and coffee expert Meli Burgueno of Bikes and the City, Wigg Party founder Morgan Fitzgibbons, National Yo-Yo Champion Joseph Harris, youth activist Jose-Luis Meija, Colleen Rivecca of St. Anthony Foundation, Valerie Coleman of Rebuilding Together SF.
  • Community Property installation at the Tenderloin National Forest, from 4:30-8pm (performance starts at 5pm). see. think. dance. and Studio Rue Dance collaborate with Luggage Store Gallery artists-in-residence, Chris Evans and Ernest Jolly to add an installment to the larger work of “Community Property”. Community Property is a multi-media project that incorporates dance, music, video and visual art. Chris and Ernest collaborated with community members and professional artists to explore the existing creativity of the neighborhood. The collaborations developed video, sound recordings and movement in response to the area. Oh, and there will be pizza from Arizmendi baked in the outdoor oven!
  • Tenderloin Reading Series #7 is at 7pm at Koko Cocktails. Organized by our friend Jonathan on a quarterly basis, this one also includes Steven Gray, Valerie Chavez, Joel Landfield/Landmine, Pam Benjamin, and some guy named pcr. If like us, you love to hate Muni, there’s an added bonus: Pam Benjamin will be reading a story about the 38 Geary bus!
  • Tonight 7pm at Kokoro Studios, 682 Geary & Leavenworth : The Flat Earth Collective presents : The Headbangers Bütterball. An evening of poetry, prose, and projection. Featured Readers include: Lizzy Acker, Andrea Kneeland, Dana Teen Lomax, Dan Sanders. With a short film by Evangelo Costadimas and Syren Johnstone.

The Tender this weekend: Halloween Edition

  • The fourth Muni Diaries Live event is happening tonight at the Make-Out Room. You’ll get a night of Muni-related entertainment, and the chance to hang out with some of the city’s blogeratti (and us). Not only that, but they’ll be selling their brand new Fast Pass t-shirts! Of course, we’ll be there (with the actual blogeratti).
  • In case you really, really don’t want to leave the neighborhood for the Muni Diaries Live event (but it’ll be totally worth it, promise), you can go get spooked at City Hall. At 6:30pm a free tour will let you know about little-known facts such as the main San Francisco cemetery once covered Civic Center. Other creepy tidbits will be divulged as well including disinterred remains, assassinations, and ghostly appearances. The secrets of Gavin’s hair are apparently an extra charge, but Ms. Spotswood would say that it’s totally worth it.
  • Are you too busy/broke to attend the Rallies to Restore Sanity/Keep Fear Alive in Washington D.C. tomorrow? Fear/sanify not, dear San Franciscans, for there will be a satellite rally at the Civic Center from 9am to 3pm. Various performances are slated (including belly dancing, improv theater, a costume contest, and lots of comedy), and we expect many clever political signs. Prepare yours!
  • On Saturday starting at 8pm, Space Gallery (on Polk at Hemlock) will be hosting Just One Bite, an exhibition of zombie-themed artwork. Stop by to see new works by Brian Henderson, Helen Bayley, Chad Hasegawa, Bo Heimlich, Justin Lavato, Jason Vivona, Darryl Pierce, and Peter Adamyan. Voting for any Tea Party candidates is purely optional.
  • And don’t forget that tomorrow is also Cambo & The Life‘s The Devil’s Eve Ball at the Boom Boom Room, starting at 9pm. It will be epic.
  • Hooker’s Sweet Treats is opening this Sunday for Halloween, but will be closed on Monday. The opening hours for Sunday will be the same as Saturdays, 10am to 2pm. If it goes well, he’ll probably be open every Sunday after that. So get your pumpkin bread pudding and caramel eatin’ duds on!
  • Feel like cycling and actually having it mean something? Then head on over to the Trickster Treat 2010 on October 31st (that would be Halloween) at 2PM in the Golden Gate Park Polo Fields. It’s an event to benefit Up on Top, a Tenderloin and Western Addition after school and summer program.
  • Kokoro Studio is having a Halloween Horror Movie Night on Sunday at 9pm, with a screening of the movie House as well as the Japanese original version.

Photo above of Jeff & Eugenia of Muni Diaries from their first live event last year.