If you’re lacking in conversation because your date and/or business traveling companion you’re with at the new Jasper’s Corner Tap is a complete sock full of boredom, then you can flip over your beer coasters and discover enjoyable quotes about drinking that will at least give you a chuckle before returning to your social somnambulism.

Take Dean Martin’s:

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

You could both talk about how much of a drunk Ricky Martin’s brother was before he became a born again Christian since you probably don’t know who the fuck Dean Martin was.

Or Plato with this one:

He was a wise man who invented beer

Which you’ll both agree with since the Irish are going through such tough times now and you wouldn’t want to disagree with them, even if this wasn’t true and Plato wasn’t Irish.

There are others, of course, by the likes of Hunter S. Thompson (whom of course you’ll both claim to have read and then only quote bits from the films) or Jerry Garcia who one of you will know was more than just the inspiration for an ice cream.

Needless to say, you’re better off chatting about the explosive amazement of the cocktail menu at Jasper’s if you really want to seem cool and leave the coasters to the ha ha that they were meant to be.