We’ve been receiving a lot of cute pet pictures from Tender readers over the holidays, and we’re only slowly catching up. So without further ado, let me introduce all of you to Stella. This is how her owner Tiffany first introduced her to us:
I would love to submit some photos and a blurb about my little monster stella. She is a lovely gal when she’s sleeping and right before she throws up on the phone bill. Her style is indisputable and although she is getting closer daily to fulfilling her diabolic plan to take over the apartment for her own, I would love to gain some footing by having her portrait displayed on your delightful page.
As you can see above, she does look totally evil sitting on that velvet red curtain that she probably stole from the neighbors.
However, we know Tiffany is not serious since her Facebook profile picture shows her smiling next to Stella. Doesn’t she look happy to own such a badass cat?
Tiffany also tells us that Stella owns Tiffytart, who she has allowed to stay in her apartment to entertain her by making cupcake hats and costumes that are awesome to get hair on and bat under the bed.
Water drinking receptacles are crucial in the life of Stella. Why drink out of a bowl when you could hit up a dignified drinking vessel? Namely anything but a bowl… peasants. Baths are also essential, especially the ones when Tiffy is taking her own bath. She loves being doused (but means of petting only) with lovely bath water whilst balancing gracefully on the edge of the tub. Sleep is awesome and the battle for the best ray of sunshine is always dominated by her outstretched feline figure.
Food. Although needed for energy, Stella scarfs mindlessly. She wastes no time in chewing and puts it in her mouth and chooses a more appropriate and comfy eating spot to dump it and then devour. Tiffy loves walking barefoot on random bits of kibble floating around the sewing area. It’s like the gift that keeps on giving. Although being told the bulimia is “so ’87” Stella has brought barfing to a whole new level of science. Not many cats can boast the strategic hurling of lunchtime snacks to hit square in the middle of the PG&E bill. That’s talent for certain.
Admired by other cats in the building and fondly remembered by lowlife humans everywhere… Stella. This is your 15 minutes, girl.
If you, too, want your own kitteh to love and take to your favorite bars, take a look at all these little adoptable fellas at the SPCA website.