We came across this little gem of a real estate listing today. After perusing through it, you realize that if realtors were allowed to build their dream San Francisco it would be within walking distance of everything, have adequate parking with direct access to a freeway which you couldn’t hear, have all south facing windows, a patio for every apartment, low, low, looooow HOA dues, be comprised of “perfect mix” of whites, Asians, and gays, and have only one neighborhood named, Sunny Happy Hills.

Naturally, I allude to this parallel realtor universe built upon and of heaping turd because the building in that listing is at Polk & Turk. Now, this isn’t the OC Corridor that is Turk between Leavenworth & Taylor, but still, that is the damned Loin. Oh right, it’s “Civic Center”. Oh wait, it’s not as they call that the, “Performing Arts Corridor”. W.T.F?

Obviously with “Theater District” already taken by Mason listings, they had to come up with something else as Tenderloin would be terrifying. I don’t get why they do this because potential buyers will probably Google Street View and then Human Actual View (if any of your steal this technology from me, I will sue) the neighborhood and see that the majority of “arts” being “performed” in and around this area aren’t the type to make you want to drop half a million buckolas to witness on a regular basis.

For those who do have the money and are actually in to the hood, that’s a mighty nice patio, ain’t it? I’d BBQ and paella the bejesus out that of that thing.