Just yesterday we were wondering why there aren’t many properties to look at in real estate sites or blogs. The awesome Curbed SF often writes about the Tenderloin, but has a hard time finding homes to buy to feature in this neighborhood… because there just aren’t many, with all the SROs, special low-income housing buildings, AoA dorms, tourist hotels and whatnot.

So when we saw a post today titled “Live like old San Francisco in the new Tenderloin” on Curbed SF, we got all excited thinking it was time to look at some cool real estate porn in our neighborhood. However, since we’ll never actually be able to afford to own anything in San Francisco (here or elsewhere) this is conveniently not about apartments for sale, but for rent. They call it vacation rentals, but at a 6-month minimum we have to wonder who has that kind of time (and money, at $2,000 a month) to spend in lounging around San Francisco.

But in case you’re in fact rich, unlike us, here‘s what SF Curbed has to say about this opportunity to live in the 1929 Hamilton Building (named after Alexander Hamilton, in case you didn’t know):

We’ll believe in the foretold Tenderloin Renaissance when we see it, but those of you entertaining thoughts of taking up residence in the city’s favorite punchline before it gets all gentrified and stuff might want to consider this sizeable 1-bedroom vacation rental in the (ahem) Theatre District’s historic Hamilton Building as a way to get to know the neighbors before getting caught up in HOA fees.

At an average of $66 a night, the unit is probably cheaper than any hotel in the neighborhood that doesn’t charge by the hour and has been “recently decorated by an interior designer” who was apparently going for an early-70’s naugahyde look. The quaintly restored grand lobby and fountain courtyard are nice artifacts of what was once the “Tallest Apartment Hotel in the West”, but the aforementioned decorator’s insistence on floor-to-ceiling mirrors everywhere might trigger your vertigo if the casino-style carpet in the lobby didn’t already make you dizzy. On the sunny side, the 16th floor roof deck would make a delightful backdrop to any pre-war themed cocktail party or movie shoot you’ve got planned. The catch (of course) is a minimum rental of 6 months, which works out to 2 grand a month.