I never went to Ike’s Place in the Castro. I never wanted to go and now that’s it’s (finally) gone, I regret nothing. Any place with that much ill will between the owner, the landlord, the customers, the building tenants, and the city can stay safely in my no-go zone.

Jesus almighty am I thankful it’s closed though. For someone who keeps up with blogs, seeing “ike’s” in every third San Francisco article got really, really old. There are just too many other joints to eat at to give a damn about one single place no matter how good it supposedly might have been. Even if they created the “Slobologna Milošević”, as genius as that might have been, I still wouldn’t have set foot there.

I mean really, it was a sandwich shop with a possessive name: Ike’s. I can think of Lou’s, David’s, Mango’s, Freddy’s, Massimo’s, and a slew of others, like my North Beach favorite Molinari’s (where I also buy my bulk salami and soppressata). But really, if you’re going to get a solid sandwich and you live in the Loin, you can either “go Vietnamese” or you can “go Morty’s“. And these choices are solid. Grrlinthecity put it best when Ike’s closed:

That’s right, bitches, time to venture to the tenderloin for your sammy goodness.

At Morty’s, they make a solid sandwich there and they’ve got a wide range. Hell, they’ve even got some amusing names (including ‘The Loin‘, yeah!), which beyond making good eats is pretty much what makes a place popular.

I feel like you generally can’t go wrong and Morty’s has done wonders to stop me from making the walk of shame through the Stockton Tunnel and up to North Beach to Molinari’s whenever I’m craving good sandwiches. Obviously lunchtime can be a bit busy as the Civic Center and UC Hastings crowd munches down there a bit. They know a good thing.

They usually have sandwich specials that they keep changing, such as the tasty catfish poboy evarels had the other day. Also, keep an eye for special deals via their Twitter, such as the one today that they name ‘Reuben Tuesdays‘: $7 for mini meal & Miller High Life beer.

And if it seems like we’ve mentioned Morty’s before, it’s because yeah, we have and it’s just as good now as it was then, except this time the photos are a helluva lot better. Oh and you gotta check out the rules of the place. Those I admire more than anything I think:

In case you can’t read them in the photo, here’s what they say:

-PLEASE do not order food to go if you do not intend to go. Bags, forks, napkins and containers all cost money. In order not to raise prices, every little bit helps.
-PLEASE do not talk on your cell phone at the register. It’s annoying AND RUDE.
-PLEASE bus your table. It really helps us out. THANKS!
-PLEASE keep your hands off my bowls… Do not eat out of the dishes that contain cranberries, walnuts and croutons. It’s very unsanitary and it’s not free.
-THANK YOU for being such a loyal & cooperative customer! We appreciate it.

…oh and of course there are the condiment holders that are re-purposed PBR sixers: