Today is Bastille Day, also known as head-chopping-french day, and for some reason there are tons of events happening in the Bay area to celebrate it. In case you want to spend the evening with a bunch of drunken francophiles eating delicious French food (because let’s be honest what French food isn’t delicious?) in our neighborhood, we found the perfect plan for you at the Grand Café (on Geary street at Taylor).

From 4pm on, they are offering a four course prix fix dinner with chef Sophiane Benaouda’s national favorites, for $53 – and an additional $22 if you want wine pairings (you can view the full, pdf-fantastic menu here). They’ll have accordion player serenading you in the dining room while you eat. If the accordion wasn’t cheesy enough for you, Marie Antoinette will be welcoming guests and offering complimentary cake to everybody. And if that isn’t enough, wait, no, that is most definitely enough.

By the way, they’re offering a special celebratory menu in the bar for $17.89 that includes Beef Bourguignon, Sweet Baguette and a glass of French Burgundy House Wine.

If you prefer to celebrate Bastille Day in a cheaper way, possibly surrounded by younger people with a few hipsters, search no more. We have found another perfect plan for you: a free French-language Disposable Film Festival at the Hotel Rex (on Sutter street at Mason). The Disposable Film Festival is a San Francisco-based event that was created “to highlight the potential and creativity that can come from the medium of disposable film such as cell phone cameras, point and shoot cameras, webcams and so on”. For this particular soiree, the Disposable Film crew has put together their most intriguing French-Language short films, and the Hotel Rex will be serving French-inspired drink specials in the Library Bar starting at 6:00pm. No Marie Antoinette here though, sorry.

Oh, and if you have a significant other you can pass by Union Square at 6:30 for a French kiss flash mob. Or you can always try to kiss a distracted tourist, unless of course they actually are French (or Italian) in which case you might in for an uninvited world of tongue.