You know you hate me for saying it, because you know it’s true. Whenever you see one of those little motorized carts driving around, it’s almost always some insanely large pile of human driving it. In my hometown, there were actually two incredibly large piles of human that loaded themselves on to one of those to “drive” out to the local Indian casino to win whatever pair of new shoes baby may have needed that month. My childhood consisted of random flecks of color and culture in case you were wondering.

But, here in the Loin, I see a surprising number of these carts wheeling around. And unlike seeing a 400lb woman piloting her way down the supermarket aisles with her orbiting children picking out the groceries, there are indeed guys riding these around who don’t have legs or are paralyzed or are in some other way, actually handicapped. In this case, I’m totally pro-fatcart because they then go back to being what god intended them to be: motorized wheelchairs.

I’m just really stunned at the speeds these things will get up to. Sure, there’s the version that’s slower than trying to walk between Clay & Pacific via Stockton in the afternoon, but then there’s this version that flies by faster than I can sprint (but please don’t ask to see me sprint as I’m all limbs.) Like that one in the shot above near the Civic Center Library. That cart went blazing past a dude on a bicycle. This all makes me wonder that if they aren’t going to put limiters on these things, then can we all have one? And what would have to do to get one? Pull some mix of George Costanza stunt? And most importantly, would you be able to use the carpool lane on the Bay Bridge, not that that matters anymore